It's true, I have finally entered into the wacky, weirdness of Grandmotherhood! All reason and logic have gone right down the drain with the birth of Charlotte and Harlow!! My I-phone is full of their photographs of which I will bore to tears unsuspecting people given the slightest provocation! My purse is no longer a means by which to carry important articles such as money, identification and Aqua Net, it now, however, houses small toys and gummi fruit smiles.
My daughter Kendra expressed concern that her baby would be ugly. I assured her that if she were, we wouldn't know it, and I used she and her brother Zack as examples. For instance, Zack looked like E.T. on a bad day at his birth, and she, Kendra, well, she resembled a hobbit, sprouting patches of hair of differing lengths. And see? We thought they were beautiful! Haley however was by far my prettiest baby, much to her siblings chagrin. I assured Kendra that she and her brother developed and matured into absolutely gorgeous toddlers and eventually, adults. If her child was indeed born ugly, then we would all be blissfully unaware of the fact. To us, her baby would be divinely perfect.
And she was!! I was there you know. The last time I viewed Kendra from that position I was powdering her behind, and now, here I was holding one of her legs as her husband, Kris, held the other as we cheered her on and shouted "push! push!" As my adorable grand daughter entered this world, I was sure that there was no prettier creature on earth, and of course, she looked just like me, when in reality she is an exact replica of her father. But hey, I'm the grandma! I'm entitled to be slightly delusional.
The only other child on the planet who is equally as lovely would, of course, be my other grand daughter Charlotte (aka, Peanut)!! And she, I am most positive, is the most advanced, intelligent two year old ever! The fact that she has now learned to say "Mimi" and "P-Pa" proves that she is an expert orator. A few weeks ago she decided to draw all over her uncles flat screen with a pencil. And NO, she was not being destructive.......she is an artist, simply expressing herself through her drawings. Any unacceptable behavior by my little "peanut" can easily be explained away and attributed to her genius.
Tis true, and disgusting, I am a doting grandmother! They are perfect and can do no wrong. Their boogers are beautiful and there slobber is sweet. There poop don't stink and I am no longer an advocate for corporal punishment. They are both gifted and deserve the finest of everything..........and yes, I am sorry but they are cuter than yours. And THAT is a fact I will fight you over.
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